last 2 days was a gud day for me...
we've talked, n make a decision...
last 2 days tat i spent with u is the best day ever..
i can feel tat u chnge abit...
just a lil bit..
but its enuf 4 me

wen u told me tat u wana go to ur frens weds receiption, i just say yes..
coz i stil can enjoy myself wtchng mies at ur rum or fb-ing..
wen u go, n the past kip appears on my mind...
i text u with angry words...
n i ask u not to come back early coz i dun wana c ur face...
n tat i hate u so much...
til i lock ur own door n didnt let u in...

but stil u come back ur hum..
early then i tot u cud be...
knocking and asking me to open it..
n gave me a big soothing smile..=)
*ilysm*

tat nyt i cnt stop nagging bout the past..
kip asking u question over n over agen..
annoyed u with my mad attitude..
ignore ur sweet calls to me n act like ure not there...
but u did manage to be patient...
n told me to forgt it...
n tat u choose me rather then any1 else..
n tat u were sory fior wat u haf done..
n u wana chnge...
did i blif u?
yes..but not 100%...
*sorry*
i just wait n c ...

tis tym arguemnt is diffrent..
n4, u just ignore me n leave me alone crying..
but now u hug me n making alot of things to make me happy n forgt bput wat happend..
last nyt wen i told u tat i cudnt slip...
u told me tat u wil kip hugging me until i fall aslip..
u did..
*tysm b*

i tink its tym 4 me to let go bout ur past..
coz tats wat makes our rltnship more awful..
i shud be gratefull tat u wana chnge for me now...
n tat u began to show much u luf me step by step...
the way we hug each other to slip shows how much we luf n k bout each other..
i savour it!

tis mornig u ask me to move my clothes to ur hous..
n tat u wana share ur wardrobe with me...
u wana buy another toothbrush for me to use at ur rum..
so dat next tym i go bek i cn sty at ur rum anytym i wnt to..
tat shows a lil bit of commitmnt..=)
thnx dear..
n i will...

maybe 3 years is not long enuf to make other people proud of us..
but honestly...
after havng the gud n bad times mostly...with u thru ol tis years..
i began to apcte u more..
n i so hapy tat i dint give up on tis rltnship..
coz i just noe tat i never wana lose u...
ure mybe a monster..but inside ur heart..
u cnt deny tat u luf me so much til u wiling to do anythng 4 me..

i dun wait 4 sumthng gud to happen..
i just accept anythng tat cums fowrd aftr tis..
coz we've been on alot of harder probs b4..
i noe we cn do it...

for wat u asked me last nyt...my answer is
~ilymore~
thank u lo vun syn

the truth about me

i am a cry baby..everytm sumthing happen to me i will start to cry n complaining...
im such a weak person...
ol tis tym i kip complain tat my relationship was so hard since i haf a guy who never being honest with me...
eventho he lufs me so much but stil it wasnt enuf...
i owez tell others bout my sad life n how ive been treated just to get sum sympathy..
im spoiled....
im on vacay to manila with my bf fam last 11 june..
i dun enjoy much sincce hes not cuming with me ...n i got ol tis -ve tots in my mind bout him..
i shud haf learn to trust him..no matter wat hapnd b4...
but still...i cant help myself from being sensative...

the truth is...
ive being surrounded by strong peeps ol tis tym..
those who never back out no matter wat hapnd to their relationship...
those who never give up no matter how they bad they been treated..
those who never fails to giva their luf 1 a 2nd chance..
those who never lose faith on god in
theres sum1 who make me realised everythng tat nyt...
she told me her story about her married life...
ohow she find out tat her hubby cheated on him..
but stil she didnt give up...ol she do was pray to god and b patience...
she amazed me...

then only i realised tat i owez scared to let other peeps noe bout how bad my rltnship were sumtym...
im scare tat peeps wil began to judge me n him...
but i guess its time for me to come clean...

hes a gud bf...
a guy tat i love so much no matter wat he has done...
hes cheated on me for a girl for 2 months...
shud i be ashamed?
i used to b4...but not nemore...
nobodys perfect...
its just tat he doesnt use his brain to think well...
i used to get mad at him..coz i dun accpt the fact tat im far n it makes him fils lonely..
n tat im owez bz with my studies n seldom entertain him...
ive ben selfish...
i did...
i wez blame him for a sucks relationship but i forgt tat it nids both party to make a gud rltnship...
i owez tink tat im the gud 1 n hes the bad 1 who owez make mistakes...
but actly,its ol bcoz of me...


now im so happy to say tat im not ashamed of him...
the fact tat he wana change n feel sory bout it is enuf 4 me...
i noe its not the first tym..but i nevr pay attention..tats y this happend...
of coz i cnt trusted him tat fast agen..but wil...slowly i guess...

im a girl who owez let sadness n problems control me...
but not nemore...
i love him...
n i;ll do anythng to save this relationship...
we both promised each other tat we will start a new chaptr n our lif...

he said..
`no matter who ive been with,still i cant love her the way i love u..
ure just 1 of a kind...'

tysm

if ure J.Wlkr, then im ur JACK DANIEL

shud i lauf? or cry agen? hahhh!
why u lied to me? agen!
ive been chnging alot lately, maybe u x undstnd...
last nyt i noe theres sumthng fishy goin on behind my bek,but still i ignored it n act like theres nothng happen..
only today wen sum1 asked me y, n i tell her bout my stupid prediction...but then i get the result from her tat might haf been giving me a heartache..
she wasnt sure but she also told me tat she want to ask me bout tis since the day shes been added but she tot maybe theres a reason y u dun tell me bout it..
but shes my fren fyi, n she never bare to c me hurt n of coz she wil be honst with me..
she wasnt sure enuf bout it but 1 comnt reveals it all!
my gad....im so amaze on how ur frens work togther to seal it ol up 4 u.?
seriously,u guys btul2 brothers in arm! n im impressed!
but i x blame them....u shud tell me from the 1st place wen i ask u to be hnst with me..
but u didnt huh?
dun take advntges on sum1 tat LYSM!
just hope tat the infmtn is wrong..
coz if its true, karmas gona pay u bek dear..blif me..

im not blogging here to judge u...
but after ol the times uve been manipulating me, i dun tink u'll haf a better life ahead..
u shud pray...blif me..u nid tat!
i hope god bless u owez..

wats goin on?

honestly, i duno wat happend to me tis lately..its like ive became a cry-baby..een the smallest thing oso can make me cry..urgh1 its fck*g hurting...
but y cant he undstnd tat? kip bz with his work n frens...wat am i supposed to feel?
im not MANJA!
i didnt want u to lyn me n stuck up on my butt 24-7...
i just nid u to spent MORE tym 4 me!
i didnt say tat u cant haf fun with ur fren..but sumtym uve been carried away...
sumtym u forget tat im at hum waiting 4 u to cum bek..waitng 4 ur text saying tat u'll be hum..
ur fren will be here until u drop dead..blif me..they wont go any further..
but me? i will be leaving for college by the end of tis month..
so which 1 is ur priority now?
u can spent tym n c ur fren everyday syg! but me?
y cant u undstnd simple things like tat? wat kind of brain u had there?
sumtym i rily fil like i wana make u sedr for a while!
tat ure so annoying! ily..yes i do! but u make me sick!
u ask me dun merajuk..but how not to?
wen u annnoyed me i guess tat silence is the best way to treat u bek..
im tired..i rily do....
watevr it is i still love u...so much...
we both keras kepala! tats y i'll let u win...
i just noe tat karma owez be fair1

lotsa love
xoxoxo
san

when the heart speak...

they c sum1 tat nyt...
whengoin out eating at fastfood rest.
he was so nervous tat she will end up no mud agen...
so he try his best to distract her mind from thinking bout tat person..
*funny*
coz she doesnt fil anything at all...
she just dun mind bout unimportant things anymore..

in the car,
he's trying his best to make her smile..
making stupid jokes n funny faces...
n she did....
carved a smile upon her face..
coz she rily dun undstnd y he did all tat..
but she do fil a lil bit distracted efter seeing her
*ily*

goin bek home...
he kiss her gudnyt n give her a warmth hug...
looking in her eyes n said :

dun u ever felt insecure bah k
coz tat only make our rltnshp more harder...
i noe its hard to trust me..
but give me a try...
so i will be motivated to do wats right..
bout my past..
they just puppy love...
n ure the 1st girl tat i've been with tis long..
doesnt tat enuf to show u how mch ily?
no matter how noty i am..its just to take ur attntn..
coz i tot ure doin the same thing behind my back..
im sory for being such a lousy bf..
i try to chnge..
just pmis me tat we wil stop kasi panas each other..
*pinkypromise*

she get out from the car...
wave him goodbye...
n cried...

hes the most stubborn person she ever knew...
n only god knows how hard it is to deal with that guy..
to owez be patience n endure ol the pain tat he gave thru ol tis years..
some people out there waiting for them to break up n LOL..
but still..they stand together for almost 3 years by now..
they been thru alot of probs..
break up, arguemnts n even suicide..
cheating n betrayal..
but only now she realise tat she nid to accept him the way he is..
coz wen we love sum1..we cant only luf the gud side of him..we shud love the bad n gud side of him both..
maybe sumtym he did or say sumthing tat hurt her the most..
but she shud undstnd wat if shes in her shoes...
wat if its him who being far from her...


she luf him so much..
tats the most important thing ever...
is he the one?
hope so!
*crossing finger*
only tym can tell.....

lotsa love
xoxoxooxox
san