my guardian angel~~

today was a lil bit special for me...
eventho sumthng make me upset..but still i am hapy bcoz i've got wat ive olwes wanted in life..
its like a miracle to me...
well its only 8 days left till final exam..
n yeah ..i am so tense....
thinking bout studying makes me sick...
but today we got classes..n im not really sure wat happend,but i feel gloomy all of a sudden...
but sumthing happends...
im rily hurt..but i noe i dun haf the right to talk about it..
im not worthy...
i was...sitting alone oustside of my class...counting the days wen i will be going bek hum again....
n suddenly....she pass me by....n stop...
i didnt notice her till she came towards me and ask me `are u alrite?'
i was like---> yabah...ofkoz im ok..napa?
n she said nothing..but just give me a smile....n she ask me to wait for her...(dia p tandas lu)
by tat tym i was kinda blur...in my head kip saying `napa dia suruh saya tunggu ah? '
but stil im waiting patiently...
wen she sat next to me...she tell me tis `

last nyt...sum1 told me a story....
there was a lil boy n a women...
they sit on a grass,talking bout sumthng...
tat boy ask tat women how to get a gud fren in life...
the bestest 1...
tat women told him to do exactly wat she saidd...
the boy just nooded...
the women ask him to pick the nicest grass on the field..
but he can only moving foward..and cannot looking back...
so the boy went to his search..
wen he came back,he holds nothng on his hands....
then the women ask him, `y u haf an empty hands/'
the boy answered..
`i went for the search just now...n i c many beautifull grass...but u ask me to look for the nicest 1...
so i keep on searching..without noeing tat ive reach the end of the field '
maybe ithe nicest 1 is on my back..but u tell me not to looking back..tats y im coming bek wit an empty hands'
the women just smile n said `tat is the answer for ur question...in life...wen we found
sum1 nice..dun ever wanted to find sum1 else much better then tat person...apcte them
n never let them go..
because we cannot turn back the tym...
dun make anythng tat u will regret later...
*the end*

i was captivated...
by the story i guess...eventho its kinda boring at first,but its meningfull...
but then she ask me `did tat story related to wat u're thingkng now?'
i lied n i said..NO
SHE SMILE....n said to me tat..

WE WILL FACES MANY UPS N DOWN IN OUR LIFE..
BUT TATS WAT MAKES US STRONGER...
IF SUM1 HURT U,DUN EVER HATE THEM....
BECAUSE WE DUN HAF D RIGHT TO....
LEARN TO FORGIVE N FORGET..NOT JUST FORGIVE...BECAUSE LATER
U WILL DO THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN...
IF U FEEL SAD N LONELY..PRAY TO GOD...HE WILL GIVE U HAPPINESS N LOVE ANYTYM U WAN IT TOO...
SO DONT FILL OUR HEART WIT HATRED...FILL IT WITH LOVE...
WE R NOT THE GUD 1...BUT WE R THE SINFULL 1..N TATS Y WE HAF TO PRAY TO GOD TO SET OUR MINDS AND HEARTS FREE..
SO TAT WE CAN LOVE OTHER PEOPLE UNCONDITIONALLY...

n there she goes...goin back into the class...
leave me wit tans of questions in my head..
HOW DID SHE NOE WAT IM THINKING TAT TYM..are u a mind reader??!
but then i came to realise....
omg....my prayers being answered!!!
he finally sent tis person to guide me...n draw me closer to him...
cos tats wat i owez asking for...A GUARDIAN ANGEL TO SHOW ME THE WAY...TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN LYF.......thnx M...
thanks god...`

*HALLELUYAH*

gift of life

i just need ur arms to hold me tite~
ur shoulder to lean on~
ur *hardworking* hands to caressing my messy hair~
ur lips to kiss my eyes wenever im sad..
kiss my forehead before i wen to sleep~
ur voices to tell me `everythings gonna be owkay'
hug me everytime we fight..
say tat u luf me everytime i cry..
always need u beside me...u make me whole again...
u make an apple taste sweet.... evntho its sour..
i dont have any reason...to live without you in my life..
LO VUN SYN..

i hate u..

seriously ....i do...
im sory but i cant help myself not to...
wat is d purpose of treating me like tis?
is tis wat u call love?
y giving me d excuses tat u hate wen im far from u..
but wen i tink it over and over again...u r definately wrong!
tiz isnt love...love is wen u care and syg me no matter wer i am!
i hate sleeping in anger...hate it so much!
luckily i didnt cry for u anymore..
starting from now on...
i never let u mke me unhappy again...if leaving u can make u feel happy then just go....
i rather hurt now then being hurt forever...
if u cudnt find a room for me in ur life..then let me go..
tats d best thing for us...
im not giving up..i juz lost hope in u...
ol the promises u made only to make me feel better for a while..
1 day..wen i dun wana c u again...do not blame me....
u make me too...since the day ive been here u ody teach me to be independent and alone..
thanx for tat..
anyhow,i still love u no matter how bad u are..atleast u gve me happiness wen im around

no more LKS ..its LVS now

try ur best...
i noe u can...
if u make it then our rltnshp gona be easier...
its not hard to blif in ur heart...
coz wen u do...
then u wil man2 blif in me agen...
no need to feel unsafe wit ur position now syg..
u've never been replaced..
(xpcly wit my ex's)
told u hundred times..
remind u everynyt...
forever n owez..
im gona hold u tite..

yours truly,
xoxo..

thousands of apologies..

im sorry...
coz im no longer tat person who u used to love 2 years ago..
i cant kip nodding my head bout EVERYTHING u said..
if its wrong then it is WRONG...
theres no way im gona change my mind..
coz everything seem so clearly now..
im no longer ur *sticktogethersoulmate* syg..
i cant olwes stay beside u...(but i still luf u though!)
u cant olwez covering my shit (i mean protecting me from the bad things)
coz theres no way we can be bonnie&clyde forever..
shud be drew barrymore & justin long for a while b..
those who survived in their LDR..
(in movie la...)

i noe how much it hurts u..
for not being able to taking care of me...protecting me...
being there for me wen im sick or spent ur quality tyms wit me.(.instead of RO-ing..)
but i nid to study b..nid to be independent...
i haf family's to support...
nid to be a responsible sister...taking care of the others...
how can it happens wen im clinging myself to u?

dun build up a wall between us wen im far...
coz wen im near...im still gona need u there...
its not like im asking u to leave me alone..
its just tat im asking u to stop making ur life tired...
for always tinking bout wat i need..and wats best for me 24-7..
start takg care of urself...u nid more attention then i do syg..
ur parents care so much bout u..(eventho u never realised tat)
so nomore `its the best thing for u..' ok?
change the *u* wit *us*
^-^

eventho we olwez caught in arguemnts tiz recently..
but i never regret it...coz u just being urself...*tinking too much bout other people*
no matter wat..i owez luf u like i never did before...
love everything bout u...
wen they ask me..wat makes me luf u so much..
i'll answered...
coz u make me whole again..=0

xoxoxo

a HUMAN friend..

nothing much i can say to u fren.....

coz i noe myself...im not a 100% good fren either..
but for ur situation...i can only tell u to be strong!
theres no nid to cry bcoz of other people *annoyingattitude*
maybe u've made mistakes...everybody did too! and maybe they hate u bcoz of tat...
but no worries....coz 1 day they will realise tat tiz world is round...not hoping for them to get the revenge...juz a karma...so they wil understand wat its like to be in ur shoes...
this world is a long journey...there still alot of things, yet to be discoverd...
tis things gona make u sttronger then b4...
n be independent...(u gona luf it sumday..^-^)

belief me or not..its like a wake up call for u...
tat u cant owez rely on sum1 else...coz by the end of the day,its u who slip wit ur own broken+hurt heart...
n satu lagi....dont try to be perfect k? nobody can! (bishop oso cant bah)
and dun change urself *too much* just to suit urself in...coz u gona end up being *sum1 else* later...
coz people NEVER STOP filling themself wit *bad thoughts* of u...its like they oredy set up their mind tat u r tis and tat wen u've made a mistakes...coz they wont confess it to u...maybe they wan to save ur relationship wit them..but hey! tats only make things worst..isnt it?so dun be like them! the most important thing is..dun fill ur mind wit crappy things...
think positive..maybe they haf their own reason by doing tiz..(eventho they might not realise how much tat affected u)
owez remember...dont judge other people in a secnd..u've gotta live wit them for almost a decade to analyse wat kind of person they r...coz people change!!
but if u ask me bout yg *mengasi batu api* tu i dunno la...juz pray for tat person la k? for god to open their eyes...ur eyes..my eyes...n every1....

most important thing is just FORGIVE them la k? nonid to simpan dalam hati...its exhausting to be angry wit sum1..everytym u feel so depressed n hurt..just pray...(it works!)
jesus works 24 hours....he'll listen to u...
^-^

so be urself...no matter how bad u r...just try to change k? im in my way too..=)
its ok to be hated..as long as we x hated them..=)
much better to be hated for who we r..then love for who we r not...^-^
coz i wan a HUMAN fren..the 1 who made mistakes,hated me,make me smile and annoyed me..
not a ROBOTIC fren tat is sooo perfect..n never do mistakes...
how bout u? ask urself....
live ur life to the fullest.pray.enjoy.happy.sincere........