my oh my...
ive been so selfish tis tym...
i kept blaming u for evrythng tat happend...
my mouth kip complaining bout how bz u r,
tat u never haf tym for me,
tat u never miss me,
or love me wen im here..
urghhh!

the reality is,
ive been tooo pampered by u wen im there...
we spent most of the tym together...
u never let me go anywhere alone..
no matter how tired u r,u still accompany me goin out wen i want to...
sent me tapau wen i said im hungry..
bring my vitamin werever we go so i wont forget to take it..
take care of me wen im sick...
tahan my stubborness..
patience wit my merajuk attitude..
goin to kk right after working just bcoz i want to watch movie..
......
there still alot of gud things tat u haf done for me...yah maybe others tink tat im too spoiled by u...
but the fact is,u wont let me be independent babe!
i dy told u many tyms,but u refuse...
u want sum1 to take care off...
aha...im so blessed...

so wen im here...
n im all alone with u far away from me..
i cant bear to spent 1 day without u colliung n texting me...
ive became selfish...
i want u to spent 24-7 of ur tym wit me..
while on the other hand,
u maybe a lil bit bz wit ur works..
such an immature..


taking decision not to talk n texting u tis 2 days rily makes me awake...
i missed u everminute tat were not texting...
i rily do...
its just my stupidness tat lead us to tis path...

i hate myself wenever i get those -ve thoughts in my mind...
(yah..wen u didnt reply my text..)
but u cant blame me for tat,
u've cheated me once babe...
so dun expect me to start believing u gain tat fast...
there still doubt in my heart..
hopefully u manage to prove to me how much u <3 me... sory i never satisfy wit ur way of proving it.. im a mess... i rily do... so i guess its tym for me to start build my trust in u again... 1 step at a tym... n i shud start to understnd u... tat maybe ure just too bz with ur work... so u dun haf tym to layan me erytym im texting u... maybe u dun noe how to show me tat u love n k bout me wen im here.. but i noe u do babe.. im sory if i push u too hard k? i shud learn to accept u the way u r.. yeah, a guy with no sense of love wenever im far from u... blif me babe,i hate LDR too.. but i love u with ol my heart... n i never let go of tis relationship until we both say so! being love by u wen im near is more then enuf... ive learnt my lesson... n im sory babe.. sumtyms,less is more then enuf..=)

lotsa love..

-san-



i.heart.you

too many things cum across my mind now..
family been gud,but i miss my parents alot...
been dreaming tat my dady cum to visit me on my bday..we blow up the candle together and singing happy bday song towards each other ='(
huhh...
how i miss him so much..
been crying hard last morning,luckily my rumate sleep like a baby..
i just hate it here.....
problems kip falling down on me...
n its been too long since i get my braveness to confront the world mean-ness!

life never been easy on me...
sumthing happend in my humtown..
,but i dun even noe wats my fault...
shes changed!
at 1st i dun notice it,but it ol started wen she became close wit ol those people i love..
its obvious tat she *dislike* me
gosh! wat were u thinkng girl?
i still remember the 1st time i saw u..
.u look a lil bit shy...
n u dun haf frens too tat tym...
im ur only fren back then.. yah..
but we talked alot, coz i love havng a new friend too..
plus,u make sum1 realy hapy after the heartbroken scene..
n i rily apcte tat alot!
so i guess we can get along nicely till god-noes-when..

but on tat day...u became more feeling-less to me...
as a fren la...
wen we go out, u never fail to make evry1 ignore me...
sumtym i feel annoyed,but wen i tink back,y shud i?
i love u n im sincere to be ur fren...
looking at them laughing wit u makes me happy too!
plus,y wud i wana get mad wen they paying much att to u?
while i noe they will owez care n be my frens forever..

maybe u dislike my attitude..but hey...u dun haf the right to judge me wen u dun even live wit me my whole life...
we only spent couple of hours togther n we even slept in a diffrnt room...
so wat do u expect from me fren?

maybe im not a gud gf or fren ...
maybe i annoyed u...
or maybe u just envy those people who owez be around me no matter wat happend...
but hey!
be a grown up!
dun ruin this friendship just bcoz of hatred...

if there anything bout me tat bothers u too much..then talk to me..n we figure it out...
if u dislike how i treat my luf,then u shud try to live in my shoes n discovered how he treated me wen im here..
issit sweet or everyday painfullness..
i maybe small from u,but i haf a heart like a stone..
things may get me feel depressed but im still faking smile infront of other people..
dun tink tat i can accept evrythng tat u do..
how much pain i bear,only me n G noes...
plus.. a relationship less then 1 year will still maintain love n sweetness...
mine is more then 2 years then i cudnt expect ol tat sweetness anymore..nayb sumtym.
so dun over confiddent bout evrythng 1st....

they ask me,wat will i do wen i c u again..
i wish i can act like i dunno u..
easier for me...
but i wont...
i noe im surely gona c u back,so i wil just smile evrytm u hurt my feelings...
i wont be so weak infront of u...
u may take the attention away for a moment..
but i blif they were my true frens...
n true frens never forgetting each other...
i dun nid the spotlight neway,as long as im havng fun wit them..
im greatfull!
and blessed...

i will owez luf u as my fren..
i will never forget the old u who look so innocent n friendly...
but remember girl..

the only reason i let u hurt me wit ur attitude,
is bcoz i love those people around u...


lots of love,
san.

lifes been su**s tiz few days..
i felt like i didnt haf much tym for myself nemore..
everyday is the same routine ....
wake up,goin claz, jogging,dance practice,on9,sleep ZzZzzz..
i rily want to go out n release ol tiz pressure in my small head..
but mao bian...i stil haf to do it!

our dance got some progressed! yeahhh!
were not a profesional dancer anyway..so tis is quite an achievement!
i dun rily fancy tis dance-thing wen i was a kid...
im an athlete..im so into trackfield...
n tats explain my tomboyish behaviour back then..haha

but i am a dancer...
so do any1 else...
as long as we haf the passion in ur heart...
just ;like my dance teacher said :

`dancing is not about the way ur body moved by the beat..but its by ur heart,haf the passion,...

its true...coz theres no other thing more fun to do then dancing n goofy-ing around wit my MOPONGOU frens! *like*

the LOVE-LIfe....
ive been so busy so we less talking
but we do a lot of skype-ing n texting
its not fun to hear,but blif me..
for LDR...its more then enuf...
^_^
coz i've learnt to appreciate evry momnt tat i haf wit my goofy-guy
caught in arguemnt sumtym,but ive been soooooo lazy to kasi panjang cerita..
SOORY can be helpfull in time's like tiis...

family's been GREAT!
miss mumy n dady alot..
but i haf to be strong for them..

bout my studies...
urggghhhh!
stil haf tons of assignment to do..
but ive finish 1..heeeeeee
hopefully i can fniz it by time..
*crossing finger*

enuf blogging la for now..
c u next tym peeps..