too many things cum across my mind now..
family been gud,but i miss my parents alot...
been dreaming tat my dady cum to visit me on my bday..we blow up the candle together and singing happy bday song towards each other ='(
huhh...
how i miss him so much..
been crying hard last morning,luckily my rumate sleep like a baby..
i just hate it here.....
problems kip falling down on me...
n its been too long since i get my braveness to confront the world mean-ness!

life never been easy on me...
sumthing happend in my humtown..
,but i dun even noe wats my fault...
shes changed!
at 1st i dun notice it,but it ol started wen she became close wit ol those people i love..
its obvious tat she *dislike* me
gosh! wat were u thinkng girl?
i still remember the 1st time i saw u..
.u look a lil bit shy...
n u dun haf frens too tat tym...
im ur only fren back then.. yah..
but we talked alot, coz i love havng a new friend too..
plus,u make sum1 realy hapy after the heartbroken scene..
n i rily apcte tat alot!
so i guess we can get along nicely till god-noes-when..

but on tat day...u became more feeling-less to me...
as a fren la...
wen we go out, u never fail to make evry1 ignore me...
sumtym i feel annoyed,but wen i tink back,y shud i?
i love u n im sincere to be ur fren...
looking at them laughing wit u makes me happy too!
plus,y wud i wana get mad wen they paying much att to u?
while i noe they will owez care n be my frens forever..

maybe u dislike my attitude..but hey...u dun haf the right to judge me wen u dun even live wit me my whole life...
we only spent couple of hours togther n we even slept in a diffrnt room...
so wat do u expect from me fren?

maybe im not a gud gf or fren ...
maybe i annoyed u...
or maybe u just envy those people who owez be around me no matter wat happend...
but hey!
be a grown up!
dun ruin this friendship just bcoz of hatred...

if there anything bout me tat bothers u too much..then talk to me..n we figure it out...
if u dislike how i treat my luf,then u shud try to live in my shoes n discovered how he treated me wen im here..
issit sweet or everyday painfullness..
i maybe small from u,but i haf a heart like a stone..
things may get me feel depressed but im still faking smile infront of other people..
dun tink tat i can accept evrythng tat u do..
how much pain i bear,only me n G noes...
plus.. a relationship less then 1 year will still maintain love n sweetness...
mine is more then 2 years then i cudnt expect ol tat sweetness anymore..nayb sumtym.
so dun over confiddent bout evrythng 1st....

they ask me,wat will i do wen i c u again..
i wish i can act like i dunno u..
easier for me...
but i wont...
i noe im surely gona c u back,so i wil just smile evrytm u hurt my feelings...
i wont be so weak infront of u...
u may take the attention away for a moment..
but i blif they were my true frens...
n true frens never forgetting each other...
i dun nid the spotlight neway,as long as im havng fun wit them..
im greatfull!
and blessed...

i will owez luf u as my fren..
i will never forget the old u who look so innocent n friendly...
but remember girl..

the only reason i let u hurt me wit ur attitude,
is bcoz i love those people around u...


lots of love,
san.