helpless wen he smiles..

i hate my unstable mind ryt now.......

everything seems unclear...
my mind,heart...n my feelings...
i used to be so confident in our relationship....
now not nemore...
sumtym i dun even noe who u r....
to asked myself `y i loved u' at the 1st place,
the answers is not synchronized anymore...
we look so attached wen we r together...
like nothing can tear us apart...
like we'll never leave each other forever...
like we never hate n cursed each other..
it makes me feel UNREAL bout tis...
the fact tat u only LOVE me wen im near...
doesnt make any sense at all..
but ive became immune to it dear...

this hesitation makes me scared of everything....
the possibility to FALL IN LOVE WIT SUM1 ELSE..
to being happy wit sum1 else....
being appreciated by sum1 else...
coz all of tat doesnt make me `stays wit u'
i am scared of the impact u might feel wen were not togther nemore...
but sumtym i cant lie to myself anymore ...
i cant owez be silent wen u do sumthing wrong to me...
i've giving u too may chances oredy...
n the part wer u make me feel im notgoodenuf for u...


i appreciate every little things u do....
but i dun get ur feedback~ n tats useless...
ure not the person tat i used to love before...
i love tat u've changed...but it lead us to nowhere...
ur promises doesnt last longer...im getting tired of believing it..
or convincing myself tis will gt any better...
but do i haf a say in tis?
i dont....
coz u never listen...

heartbroken.breaking into pieces.anger.painfull.sadness.confused.

i just noe for sure tat i love u....owez....






but im helpless wen HE smiles....