wats goin on?

honestly, i duno wat happend to me tis lately..its like ive became a cry-baby..een the smallest thing oso can make me cry..urgh1 its fck*g hurting...
but y cant he undstnd tat? kip bz with his work n frens...wat am i supposed to feel?
im not MANJA!
i didnt want u to lyn me n stuck up on my butt 24-7...
i just nid u to spent MORE tym 4 me!
i didnt say tat u cant haf fun with ur fren..but sumtym uve been carried away...
sumtym u forget tat im at hum waiting 4 u to cum bek..waitng 4 ur text saying tat u'll be hum..
ur fren will be here until u drop dead..blif me..they wont go any further..
but me? i will be leaving for college by the end of tis month..
so which 1 is ur priority now?
u can spent tym n c ur fren everyday syg! but me?
y cant u undstnd simple things like tat? wat kind of brain u had there?
sumtym i rily fil like i wana make u sedr for a while!
tat ure so annoying! ily..yes i do! but u make me sick!
u ask me dun merajuk..but how not to?
wen u annnoyed me i guess tat silence is the best way to treat u bek..
im tired..i rily do....
watevr it is i still love u...so much...
we both keras kepala! tats y i'll let u win...
i just noe tat karma owez be fair1

lotsa love
xoxoxo
san

when the heart speak...

they c sum1 tat nyt...
whengoin out eating at fastfood rest.
he was so nervous tat she will end up no mud agen...
so he try his best to distract her mind from thinking bout tat person..
*funny*
coz she doesnt fil anything at all...
she just dun mind bout unimportant things anymore..

in the car,
he's trying his best to make her smile..
making stupid jokes n funny faces...
n she did....
carved a smile upon her face..
coz she rily dun undstnd y he did all tat..
but she do fil a lil bit distracted efter seeing her
*ily*

goin bek home...
he kiss her gudnyt n give her a warmth hug...
looking in her eyes n said :

dun u ever felt insecure bah k
coz tat only make our rltnshp more harder...
i noe its hard to trust me..
but give me a try...
so i will be motivated to do wats right..
bout my past..
they just puppy love...
n ure the 1st girl tat i've been with tis long..
doesnt tat enuf to show u how mch ily?
no matter how noty i am..its just to take ur attntn..
coz i tot ure doin the same thing behind my back..
im sory for being such a lousy bf..
i try to chnge..
just pmis me tat we wil stop kasi panas each other..
*pinkypromise*

she get out from the car...
wave him goodbye...
n cried...

hes the most stubborn person she ever knew...
n only god knows how hard it is to deal with that guy..
to owez be patience n endure ol the pain tat he gave thru ol tis years..
some people out there waiting for them to break up n LOL..
but still..they stand together for almost 3 years by now..
they been thru alot of probs..
break up, arguemnts n even suicide..
cheating n betrayal..
but only now she realise tat she nid to accept him the way he is..
coz wen we love sum1..we cant only luf the gud side of him..we shud love the bad n gud side of him both..
maybe sumtym he did or say sumthing tat hurt her the most..
but she shud undstnd wat if shes in her shoes...
wat if its him who being far from her...


she luf him so much..
tats the most important thing ever...
is he the one?
hope so!
*crossing finger*
only tym can tell.....

lotsa love
xoxoxooxox
san

lifes began to be good step by step...
the best thing is i can stay hum n spent the rest of my days watching tv n eating!
ha.ha.ha
wat else i can ask 4..

family being super great...
kip jalan n eat outside..
thnx mumy!
plus got my lil sis n bro tat rily make my day by laughing out our ass with funy jokes..
n watching movies togther like hell..

im on my way finishing my psp games btw..
god of war....agen n agen...
never get bored with tat..
now i noe y he bought tat 4 my bday..
coz tats the only thing tat can make me silent n guai2 at rum..
my gad..

the love..
began to ease down a lil bit..
pandai cri n ask me wat i do...
tysm God..
my prayer being answered 1 by 1...
but still he did n said things tat can rily hurt me..
sumtym...
but wen im there, he cudnt face it.
mad2 pun still bring me hum n frn me watch totoro..
almost midnite but still bring me out to mamam..
y tlmpau ego?huh!
dlm msg kip hurt me,but infrnt syg me..
urgh!
my frens were ryt,im stupid for hoping too much..even wen im not..still i never stop love tis guy..
just be patience...tats d only thing i can do..

his mum asking me to go vacay with them on june..
im looking foward to it,but still im afraid..
wat if hes doin sumthng bad wen his mum not around?
n me not around?
just pray he wont..
*amen*

i can only be happy n gratefull tat they never stop supporting me!
mopongousian, family, fong,magdlne,vian,chy2,aily n L.myles..
maybe they oso boring wana c my msg but they never stop giving me hopes n love..
I.HEART.YOU.GUYS

wat wil it be?
i dun know...
just hope for sumthing good to happen..
stil, ilysmLVS

i hate tis,y cant they let me be happy for a sec? after receiving their msges at fb i still can feel the hate of envyness..y cant u just let me go? y did u bother so much to tell me very single thing tat he do? wats ur ittention? at 1st i tot u rily care bout me,evendore we're not close...but now i tink i noe wats ur'e up to..u enjoyed seeing me hurt ryt? noeing tat hes goin sumwhere to haf fun,while im stuck up my ass here being sad n lonely? its enough!
today u ask me to look into sum1 album n c the pict..he was there..so?
yah,i admit tat i was totally mad seeing it at 1st but not nemore, hes not a baby, he can take care of himself...plus i undstnd y he didnt tell me hes goin out,coz we're still argueing n he noes im gona be extremely jeles n sad. im not there...i cant tell if hes goin out with sum1 or not,itsjust his pict being caught on tat cam..n his frens..n his girll frens tat he noes since they were in primary school..
but still i haf sadness noeing tat it was 3rd of may,n hes havng fun while im strugling myself alone here...

are u happy now? did u rily wana c my relationship broke down? does tat makes u satisfied n buzz off? fyi : ure not gona get any...
even wen im leaving,n ure the next persn tat being with him,i still fil sory 4 u...coz u cant get him to love u naturally, u just haf to make our relationship worst,n hoping tat we will really break up n u got the chance to be with him..u r so pathetic..i feel sory 4 u..
i noe u r reading tis..coz u noe evrysingle thing tat i wrote here...

stop tring to prove to me tat hes not even sad bout the arguements..coz seriously, almost 3 years with him, im gona tell u tat tis guy,was rily good in hiding his feelings..I DUN THINK U NOE TAT RYT? coz its not u who be with him wen he got a major fall down, ure not there wen we had the biggest arguements, ure not there wen both of us losing hope towards each other..
it was me all the tym...2 years is not tat long but ive been in so many ups n down with him n i tink tats enuf to show me who the real guy he is...
if we rily break up, i wud say gud luck to u..
coz he wont luf u the way has loved me...
no matter wat happend btwen me n him,there always a special bond between us tat make us stand togther til now...but maybe we r not meant 4 each other..i'll take tat as a chlnge..
the most important thing is tat i luf him so much...n i just wana make him happy...tats y i can let him go..i dun haf ryt just to tink bout my happiness in a relationship..

im a women with no regrets..ilhsm

end of 2 years..

i'll be packing my bags any sooner...
4 days left b4 im goin bek sabah..
its funny how im gona miss my life here...
this simple, yet useful hostel room...
frens tat never leave me alone wen i felt unhappy...
classmates tat never stop bullying me...
too many reason to mke me miss this place...

still in my mind my first step here...i kept saying :
i hate tis place
i wana go home
i miss my family

but tym passed by sooooo fast...
its been 2 years here...1 year left b4 i fnish my studies
no more slipping in the class,
no more joking around during recess...
its tym to be independent now

im done with my theory studies...
on my way for practical....
good news : petaling jaya
bad news : no frens, work tym , hand water pump
but nothings meant to be easy kan?
i'll take it as a a challenge...

im so gonna miss my life here..
slipping in the class...
taking lunch with my frens...
watching movie togther...
hang out togthr
but life must go on....
its a beggining of our journey...
not the end...

to some of the guys tat i wont be able to c...
tysm for being such a gud frens to me..
i apreciated tat..*big hugs*

al farabian = 1 of the best thing in my life.
so i guess, i'll c u soon then?

learn to love urslef more..
its much more easier then loving sum1...
i dislike u...
wat makes u tink u can make sum1's life crushing down...
left tat person alone wen she needed u the most?
n now u wana treat her good again? giving false hope?
stop making her happy n then take the happiness away from her wen shes away...
she learning to live on her own now...
u dont haf any idea how hard it is not to tink of u everyday...
u duno how hard it is not to text n c ur msg everyday...
dont...plis dont make her life ruin agen...
the chance been given too many tyms owdy...
but did u aware? no ure not...
uve been bz with ur frens...n ur own agenda...
did u care bout her? no u didnt...
u left her alone wen she needed u the most...
now tell me how to call u a man....wen ure acting like a child...
face ur problem!
u cant simply make ur own decision n plan on making sum1 life suffer just bcoz u hate the fact tat shes not there with u...
did u now how many tyms she cried for u?
did u feel every pain tat u gave to her?
u said u love her...
but honestly....i dun tink u noe wat LOVE is...
ure not this person b4....u used to care n love her so much...
making her life happy like no one else will...
u used to be a part of her...
but things makes u chnge tis fast...
sumtym she also didnt noe how much tym left for her to stay patience with u...
n endure ur stubborn atttitude...
but she never wana say tat to u...
she noe herself...shes not perfect...
she did mistakes too...
to noe tat u love her n accept her flaws is enuf owdy...
but did u realised tat? no ure not...
ure not listening....
ur egoism blindfold ur heart...
makes u treat her like tat...
but shes being insecure now...
shes not even dare to love u again...
being with u agen used to be her only hope...
but not anymore....
she just scared tat u might doin the same thing to her..over and over again...
plus,shes still tink tat theres sum1 else even u said NO.

if both of u get together again...
u shudnt expect her to love u 100% nemore...
u've hurt her deeply...
n leave a scar on her heart...

but its nice to text good things with u...
shes happy...still..she love u tis much < >

heartache

I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
And I’m the kid that falls
It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion’s there
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
It’s like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don’t stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passions there
So it’s got to be right,
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you



T_______T