sumtym i wish i can do everything tat i want..
everything tat i used to do b4..
all the fun things..tat i love so much...
which i've stopped to do since i haf u...
coz all the things tat i love to do... turns out to be the things u dun like..
so ive stop doin it..
like u ask me too..

sumtym i wish i can go out clubng with my frens like i used to b4...
without sum1 to get mad at me..
havng a total fun with my babes n boyfrens...
but i cant...
coz were gona end up into fight later..

sumtym i wish i can live my life the way i want to...
do ol the stupid things i want..
dress up the way i love to..
hangout with the people i like to..
and stop fixing myself to reach ur expectations..

sumtym i just wana go home...
stay in my room...drinking a big glass of coke..
eating cakes n chocltes..
with no 1 touching me..
no 1 talking to me..
i just wana be alone...i rily do...

sumtym i just wana live a day
without eating those vitamins u buy 4 me...
im getting tired of getting myself gemuk...
im tired of eating those vits...
its not sedap ok?
my tumy said so!

sumtym i just wana go out wearing flats and a simple dress..
instead of covering ol of my body..
coz i dun care bout others thinking how small i am..
im just tired being wat other peoples want me to...

sumtym i wish i didnt haf cellphone...
so i dun haf to c ur text saying ure goin out clubng wit ur frens
wen ure supposed to spent tym 4 me..
coz ure working like 24-7 everyday..
dont i deserve ur valuable tym?
instead of texting me wen im sleepy ody..

sumtym i wish i can be u...
so i can having a total fun there without thinkg bout u even 4 a sec..
i rily want to make u undstnd wat it feels to WAIT
and wory bout me evrytm im goin out..

sumtym i wish i am not myself ryt noe...
i wana be sum1 else..
who can go out without being mistaken being flirting around...

sumtym i wish i a tough person..
so i wont end up crying everytm i felt hurt..
im sick of it..

sumtym i wish we dun noe each other...
passing by each other
holding other peoples hand...
and live a diffrent life

sumtym i wish i can just shut up and sleep
everytym we're started to argue..
and forgt everythng tat happends...

lifes being great with u..
its not tat ure treating me bad..
ure not..
relationship being gud..
its just tat we bz with our life..
me..here...stuck with my asgnmnts..
you...there..stuck with ur frens n work
we do find each other..
havng tat sweet talk for a minte..
and textkissing/hug each other..
its enuf 4 a LDR..
im satisfy..

but maybe...
im just getting tired of this...
same convstion everydy..
same things to fight with everytym...
all the other things tat we do...
wen im there, its a whole new stories...
coz were gona be a lovey-dovey..


but sumtym...
i wish i am single..
with no 1 to take care of...
so i dun end up getting mine or his heart broken...
like i did now..

lotsa tears..
san

homesick

i rily miss my bed...
my mumy n dady...
siblings 4 sho....
n yeah..my bf..

1 more month b4 im goin bek...
i cant blif tym pass me by so fast..
im going thru sem4 ryt now..
its just like yesterday ive been here...
starting my 1st step and nagging bout the orientation..haha
it su*ks..
but i do gona rmber it 4 the rest of my life =)
next sem i will be goin for practical..
its really make me sad..
coz i noe im not gona be in the same place with my bff..
but maybe its tym to be independent ryt?

i miss him too...
since we haf change with tat everydayargue thing..
relationship growing stronger n more happy..=)
i admit tat im a part of the mess..
yeah..im too manja..n easily get mad 4 no reason..
but now...
its changed..=)

1. i didnt ask him to stay up till1,2 am just to kwn me msg..(i let him sleep)
2. im not easily merajuk
   
3. more understanding
4. i support his hobby (badminton)
5. i dun get mad like h*ll wen he spending his tym on badmntn court from 6-9pm..
6. more dengar cakap..
7. i do wat he told me to..
8. let him spent sum tym wit his frens..
9. learn to trust him step by step
10. not being toooo jealousy...
11. love him n his flaw..
12. i dun bother him wen hes working
13. forgt his past n mistakes..
    

sometym..wen we started to get mad..
i simply told him tat im lazy wana argue n i let him win..
n wen we dun haf mood to talk bout anything we just dont...
we both let ourself to calm down n wen its ok..
he will find me back like ntg happend..=)
tats wat happend wen we learn to undrstnd each other more with less-fighting..
i heart the solution coz it mkes me happy..
wen he text me iLy n give me a gudnyt kiss wen i go to bed..
n said good morning wen i wake up in the next day..
saying ILYSM wenever i felt insecured..
convince me everytm the memory of him pass me by..
calling me pigy or babydoll wen im mad..
its just beautiful...

everythng he do really meant a lot to me...
coz hes not tat soft-hearted + sweet tounge kinda boy..
he owez wana look garang n tough infront of me..
mybe bcoz he want me to respect him as my bf..but i did!
i stop blaming him 4 everythng tat happens tis whole tym..
coz i juz barely knew tat im taking part of tis rltnshp too..
he spent tooooo much on me liao....
its tym to give n take...

many peeps dun blif tat we're stil toghther..
maybe bcoz of his past..
but IDC bout it nemore...
i am his future..
its tym to forget the past n go on!
n learnt to love his flaws like he loves mine...

stop being childish.pampered.jealousy.
start to be matured.independent.loveable

effing PURFECT!

its funny how we can lie ourself tat everythngs gona b alrite..sooon...
wen we've owdy noe tat things gona end up more complicated...
sum people might never like us..
or shud i said misjudge?
dont blame others for tat..
maybe we used to be such a horrible monster b4...
chngning...on our way ...owdy did actually..
never stop!

but we shud haf learnt tat we can never stop their -ve thoughts bout us..
maybe bcoz they were f*ckin perfect..
or maybe bcoz they just dun like us..

sum people can really love u n ur FLAW..
but sum people dont...
sum people wil lie themself tat they like u..
when they dont..
sum people will treat us bad..
just bcoz they think u deserve that!
sum people tink tat they were so good..
just bcoz other people never said they hate them..
infront..
but they didnt noe how may people said tat on their back..
sumtym people will continue talking bad bout u ..
evendore the problem is so 2005...

this shit happens to any of us out here..
its just the circle of life tat we shud haf completed..
pass or fail..
depends on ourself..

honestly...
ive never feel insecure with everything around me..
maybe bcoz i noe most of the people hates me..
yah...
coz im not a gud person b4,
people only c the bad side of me...
the gud side? they dont bother!
n they keep ungkit old stories bout us..


sumtym we just smile wen sum1 told u tat u r cute or watsoever..
wen its obviously showed in her face tat its just a lie..
tats rily makes me laugh out loud
sumtym people umpat-ing bout us on our back..
n swapping stories bout ur flaws...
but still treat u like a gud fren in front..
sweet..but it kills...

iDC bout everythng now...
coz i owez got my family to support me no matter wat..
so do u guys!
noeing wat happend to u now rily makes my heart brokes..
but since im far away, i can only tell u here...
most of the people hate u, just bcoz u haf something tat they dont..
but wen they come for u wen theres sumthing they need..go away..
u dun nid a fren who accept u but not ur flaws...
n talk bad bout it...
we're not f*ckin perft...
but at least we can make those people around us happy ^___^

let those who NEVER commit sins, throw the stones toward us!
FORGIVE & FORGET..

lotsa love
xoxoSANxoxo

10 dec 2009

20 sept 08
1st time u ask me to be urs..
funny...but sweet..^^

coz i owez tot tat ure just a spoiledmumy'sboy
*sorry B*

its been 2 years 5 months now..
not a big numbers to be show off..
but since ure the most stubborn n complex guy i ever been with..
its sumthing tat i can be proud of..

n yess!
u annoyed me sometym...
a real goofy n clumsy...
u can be heartless sometyms...
since u can haf everythng u want..
sometimes u did 4get how to apcte all the things tat u got..
`mean' wen its cums to jealousy..
play pretend u x love me wen i make u mad
stubborn like h*LL

my punching bag ^_^

but nooo...
its not the real u...
its just ur alter ego..
ure a crying baby sumtyms..
u nid me to pick up the right clothes 4 u wen we go shpng
u nid me to remnd u how hard it is to simpan $ wen u spndg it like crazy
u nid me to get mad at u wen u act a lil stupid
u nid me to remind u tat ur car is not importnt then me n ur fam
u nid me to tell u how much ur family luf u everytym u feel like they dont
u nid me to pack ur stuff anytym we go on vacay'
u nid me to play with ur hair to make u asleep
u nid me to hug u wen we argue
u nid me to lauf at u wen ur jokes dun make no sense
u nid me to tell u everyday how much iLY n wait 4 me
but we're even..
i nid u more the u nid me..
*sorry*

tats y i still wait 4 u monkey!
it brokes my heart to left u alone there..
n hear u complain
`susah o mau buat ni,tula u xda cni,susah o mau bgni,panas o,mau sakit oh..bla..bla..bla'

but u love me 4 me..
n tats wat i respect bout u..
never been a day u complain bout how i look, how many pimples i had,how skinny i've been
*thnk u for loving me n my FLAWS*



like u said..age is just a number ^^

cherry on top

here i am...
back into my college life.....missing sum1 alot...
families n frens...*aily,chy,vian*

my midsem break was awesome!
having my own ups n down...but i manage to get myself
a tym to relax..(despite of all the assignment)

lifes been great....
goin out wit my bf..
c his new house..n totally in love with it!
i guess its only bcoz he has his own room wit his own bthrum..
which means more privacy ahead ^_^

goin out yam cha wit my darling , aily n chy2..
so funny tat we manage to laugh ourself out no matter wat topic we had there,haha
totally ngam channel..=)
*ty babes*

so his mum was nagging bout how fast i owez wana go bek home...
rather then spending sum tym there...
finally i decided to spend 1 nyt at his house..
been wasting our tyms watching his fav.cartoon --> Lion King! awww...
n watch him playing games till i fall asleep.. -__-zZzZzZz


i love watching u plying games..it makes me sleepy ..haha
the next day was totally lame...
as im goin back hum to pack my bags for leaving..
wen im finish im goin out again to take sum photo wit mr.yellow ^^
it was extremely big!


mr.992C



after tat go straight to take a nap at his house, till 5pm only i woke up...
urgh!
it was tooooo cozy..
making its hard for me to open my eyes..
6pm,im leaving to kk..
bye2 kgau..
hug his mumy for goodbye =(

there..
i felt a lil bit emotional...yeah..
coz i can feel tat i will be bek to kl in a few hours..
but he still sabar wit my childish gaya..
*ty bb*

wen i cry at his house 5 hours before leaving..
he just lay beside me...blur i guess..coz ive been crying so hard..like usual >.<

wen i calm down n stop crying..he took a towel n sat behind me..asking me to sniff out ol my hingus,hahahaha
aww..i felt so kna syg..
just like my father used to do back wen i was a child..
*happy baby*

tats y at the airport i stop cyring n give him my warmth smile..
i dun wana make him wory bout me like before..
i can c he was happy to c me a lil bit hapy again..
*ty avui n jojo*


wen im at kl... hes goin out clubbng wit his fren
but he still manage to find me very hour..
the best part of it,
was wen he admit tat he luf me so much
n ol tat breakup thing n idontloveuanymore was a total lie..
he just do tat to take my attention..
=)
i love him more then he ever knew..
hope 1 day he will notice tat..



iLyFLVS

2 days more

will be going bek soon..
hate it so much...
every1 is bz!
mumy at kk,
my bro is working..bf oso working..
n im left alone at home..
hate it!

ive got a plan..meeting my darling aily tomorow,
but i havent confirm yet since chy2 also nid to go work at the noon..
plus bf havnt ge the green light yet! hopefully yes! *crossing finger*

everythng doesnt seem ryt now..
im toooooo sensative...
everytm hes making fun of me,or even making me jeles on purpose..
im gona be extremely mad +sad = cried
i hate myself now..y i owez haf to be so weak wen hes around
like i cant stand up 4 myself..?
everythng also nid his help!

since they move to the new house..
he seldom go to my house n spent tym..
i do unstnd bout tat minyak thing..
but i do nid sum attention from him

mornig hes working,so we just hang around togther at nyt...
its like a long way to go my house..but he insist..
n i just let it..
i do wana spnt my tym wit him

goin to his house to meet his mum..*miss u aunty*
feels warmth wen she give me a hug n kiss,feels like im welcome there..=)
spending the tym wit his granma..n watching movie wit bf ..

he asked me today..
as he watchd me playing games on his comp..
y i haf to be soooo sensative tis few days?
urgh! wish i had an answer for tat myself syg!
maybe i just miss the day he will treat me like a baby..
yeah..since he was too bz wit his work..
i was left behind..
i just making stupid faces..
he laugh..n we forgt bout it..
easy~~~

still haf 2 days left..
gona apcte tis days like i never will..
got alot of things to do..
but im done with 1 of my assgmnt ^___^

but still..the 1st thing i wana do on saturday morning..
is goin out for breakfast with him..
i need Sau mai ASAP..
miss it alot!

but tomorow i will be staying at his house for 1 day..
at least im not gona miss him alot tomorw nyt..


missing my frens n family..^^
will meet soon *muahx*

one i never forget

1st..we dun talk too much..yeah..
n u left me alone waiting 4 u at the airport...
the way u treated me was so cold..like sumthing bothering us..
luckily boy2 accompany us..if not things gona be like wwe inside ur car..
stop at kfc, boy2 go down to buy sum food..
n u say HI!..
BUT JUST NOODED MY HEAD..
COZ I FEEL AWKWARD...
like i never knew u my whole life..
soory =(

arrive ur hum..
n i still refuse to talk to u..
my heart still painfull
for wat u haf done to me..
i noe its just ur ways to get my attention..
but it do hurt me alot..
sorry fer the 2nd tym =(

taking my bath..
n u eating downstairs...
after bath,i go straight to take a nap..
u showed up..
wana hug me..
but i move to the next bed..
u asking y shud i move ?
i answer `i just wana take a nap'
so mean...n so not me...
but i guess heartache tat leads me to do tat..
sorry fer the 3rd tym =`(

still...
u wna slip with me...
so u move again..n started to hug me...
i refuse..
but u insist..
n u told me u miss me...
n there we r..
lying next to each other..hugging n slipping till nyt..
*thank you *


after ol tis tym weve been apart..
still i love u VERY MUCH!
its not about wat u got, but is how u care the littlest thing bout m...
sumthing tat others tink less-important 4 me..
*thank you again*

i noe things gona be like before wen im goin bek later..
but as im still here..
i wana spent lots of tym wit u..
i wana appreciate the tym we have to be 2gther..
sumtym less is more...
as long as we love each other..n still stand strong together..
there nothing i wud ask for more...
*thank you lo vun syn*

sumtyms i can be so mean towards u,yeah,both of us did..
we talk nasty n get mad to each other..
sumtym u told me tat u x luf me n dun nid me at all,
i just accept it..
coz the truth is..wen im bek..
ure still gona hugg me n tell me how much u miss n luf me wen im there..

im still in process to figure outwat kind of relationship we haf here ..
maybe its the toughest 1 i ever had..
but i dun regret it..
coz ure the best i ever had..
*i love you! yeah u stubborn syn!*

so tis is me..
swallowing my pride..
standing in front of you...
saying im sorry for that night..T_________T


lotsa love
san